Idris Elba and other assumptions

I have had quite the quiet spell of late… and for a change I am not blaming anyone or anything else…. Life has been busy, I am insanely aneamic … when I look at you, I see a cartoon steak walking past. I did hurt my knee (trampolining – I am way too old for that), I do still have a child, and the weather has been about as pleasant as finding a snail in your shoe when you are already late for work….That said… those are not excuses for my quietness.

I assumed that the next time my heart got broken it would have been by Idris Elba – not by a sleek, young Lenovo who looked great on paper but did not share my commitment to my work. This assumption has been but one of the many mistakes I have made of late.

Another involves a complete and utter failure to line up the new shelves in my kitchen – which are now on my to-fix list. I also ought not have painted my hallway blue and pink (fortunately Mandela remedied that – it is now white). Nor should I have ever thought I could dye my own hair effectively. 

Speaking of assumptions, people assume that I am a computer wizz. Don’t get me wrong, I am a millennial and I speak fluent computer user – I am however not a computer technician. Because my parents ran computer businesses while I was growing up, for the majority of my life people assumed that I ought to be a computer wiz…..Alas, this is something I am not.

Over the years I have worked the odd day in my folks business, but my specialties included taking phone messages, reading the instructions faster than you can, and processing repair requests for you when Dad wasn’t immediately available. I can build a website – I cannot fix your hard drive, read binary code, or explain anything about how or why your bluetooth does what it is or isn’t doing….I can however carry your new computer to the car for you – LIKE A BOSS.

My Dad had some great stock-standard lectures that he repeated over the years to all of us, and a lot of our friends… one famous lecture is the ‘phone manners’ lecture. When you call our house, introduce yourself, and then ask for the person you would like to speak to. When you answer the phone – do so clearly, and introduce yourself. I can hear you all saying “Oooh, now I understand why Josie answers the phone with “Hello Josie speaking.” Every. Single. Time. You. Call. Even if I have your number in my phone.

Another of Dad’s lectures which I have heard a million times is the ‘Back up your work, save it in at least seven places’ lecture. Everytime I turn on a computer it is in my head somewhere.. In fact, I am actually borderline creepy and annoying with my record keeping… odds are if you wrote me a note in grade 9 history class, I still have it (sorry Emiri)…. And if you emailed me in 2003, I probably still have that too.

It is for all of these reasons that I have no excuse for not backing up my data to my google drive everyday. These last few months, I dropped the ball on that. I literally have everything EXCEPT my book. I don’t know if it is the subject matter or the cathartic release I feel writing it – but my creative folder…. Well that is the one thing not backed up…. Whatever the reason however, safe to say it was with some devastation that I discovered that my computer had crashed and I may or may not be able to retain my drafts. I am, however, counting blessings and hoping that a certain kindly stranger may be able to swoop in and save the day!

Published by Josie Young

Josie Young is a writer, an activist and a lover of food, stories and stormy ocean skies. Previously a community project manager, Josie is also a full time mother and a free lance ghost and feature writer and editor. Josie Young holds a Bachelor of Arts in International Relations and Public Policy (2007), a Masters of International and Community Development (2009) and a Masters of Humanitarian Assistance (2017).

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